Grumpy and Happy But Not a Dwarf

I’m grumpy because I have hurt my back again. Ironically, I hurt it while doing one of the exercises I do regularly to strengthen my muscles so I won’t hurt my back—aaaaarrrrrgh.  If this happened to somebody else I would probably laugh, but since it’s me I don’t think it’s funny yet.  Maybe tomorrow.  Obviously this is not a terrible affliction, and it is getting better each day. But I don’t like to hurt even a little bit, and I am entitled to be grumpy, and I am. 

I’m happy because the wonderful gift I was given [see January 8 post] has come to fruition and is still continuing. Let’s see, what’s a metaphor for that? How about this: I have been thirsty for just the right kind of water. Often I carry a bottle of water around with me in case I want it, but if I leave it in the car and it’s sunny and hot outside it will get all tepid and gross. Plus, what if I have forgotten my bottle and there is no water fountain around and I am soooo thirsty. But now, lo, I have remembered that I have a perpetual hidden spring of cool water inside me. Unfortunately I forget about it a lot of the time.

Here’s something amazing: I subscribe to an online series called ‘Joe Riley’ jnriley@comcast.net [Panhala]. Today’s poem, from the Selected Poems of Denise Levertov,  is called “Of Being.” It could be called “Happy.” Here is an excerpt:

Of Being

I know this happiness
is provisional. . . .

but ineluctable this shimmering
of wind in the blue leaves:. . . .

this need to dance,
this need to kneel:

this mystery:

Notice the colon at the end. I don’t think that is a typo—I think Levertov is reminding us that, yes, when we’re in the mystery we don’t know what’s coming next but we do know it’ll be something.

Get ready–here’s a tone change:

As to the dwarf part of the title, I am not now nor have I ever been a dwarf. I am a tall person. (However, I am getting shorter as the days go by.)  Plus I don’t have much in common with Snow White but I do like to take naps.